An honest chat about mental health during pregnancy (and tips to help)

Today’s post is one I’ve been meaning to write about for ages! I’ve blogged before about my experiences of anxiety but mental health during pregnancy really is a whole different ball game.

Disclaimer:This is a sponsored post with Emma’s Diaries who asked me to  share my experiences of health issues during pregnancy

There are so many new changes happening but because it is such an exciting time, you do feel bad talking about the fact that is incredibly overwhelming/anxiety-inducing/bloody scary too. We are slowly reading a bit more about post-natal depression (although there’s still much more way to go) but antenatal anxiety and depression (e.g. mental health issues whilst pregnant aren’t really discussed.

My experiences with anxiety whilst pregnant

Pregnancy has definitely been an anxious time for me. One of the things I HATE is not having control over something, so my first trimester-where I felt incredibly poorly (more on that in this blog post)- was the absolute worst! I think there really is no support during the trimester before your 12-week scan; it was just a case of ‘just wait and see’. I know that this is because it is such early days but regardless, the emotional state of women at this point should be acknowledged-especially since it’s unlikely you will have told anyone so you have no support network at all. Other than my dog!

We ended up having a scan at 6 1/2 weeks because I had spent three weeks (yes I found out very early!) of not being able to keep food down and worrying -and nothing was helping.

Thankfully, everything was fine but scans are another huge cause of anxiety for me and I’ll still tense up at my growth scans now. I would spend the day or two before each one trying to predict every single scenario and plan for it. The 12-week scan-where you are tested for various chromosome abnormalities-was a particularly anxious one for me. Under the NHS, you face a 2-week wait for the results of this being sent in the post. I knew that for those two weeks my heart would be all over the place when the postman knocked so I ended up having a private scan beforehand; since they could turn the results around in 2 days which was a much shorter wait. I know that the NHS has to deal with wait times etc, but it is frustrating that the anxiety at this point isn’t really acknowledged.

Once the scans and announcements were out the way, I did start to feel a little bit better. However, I might have felt calmer but one thing I often resort to when anxious is avoidance as a coping strategy. I noticed at around the end of my second trimester that I was avoiding buying anything whilst most moms-to-be at this point had a whole nursery kitted out! I kept telling myself that I would wait until the next milestone and the next milestone, but I would always find an excuse to wait longer so not to ‘jinx it!’

That was the point I decided I needed to get a bit of support for my mental health issues as I felt as if my whole pregnancy was going by without me acknowledging it almost.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, telling my story is part of Emma’s Diaries campaign to raise awareness of common health conditions during pregnancy. There are many conditions (such as morning sickness and anaemia-both of which I struggled with) however I’ve chosen to share about antenatal mental health.

As you can see, it’s thought that 12% of women suffer from antenatal depression and it is also common to struggle with things like accepting your pregnancy (even if it’s much wanted!). The infographic links some great support sites and you can find more of Emma’s Diaries resources on antenatal depression and mental health issues but I thought I’d share my own experiences of dealing with mental health issues in pregnancy.

Tips for Tackling Mental Health During Pregnancy

NHS Support

First up, know that the NHS does have dedicated mental health support services for antenatal mental health; which you can be referred to by your consultant or midwife. My midwife mentioned this in my very first appointment and I received a referral from my consultant at 16 weeks.

It takes a few weeks to receive a referral through the post and then you have to make an appointment for an assessment; which will then decide which services you require. I hold my hands up and admit I put it off for ages; so whilst I have had my ‘assessment’ (and there was only a two week or so wait) I am now on the waiting list for actual talking therapy and it’s unlikely I’ll be seen before the baby arrives. So my top tip to you would be to do this asap, even if you are only just pregnant but know you struggle with mental health.

Finding a support network

However, the assessment was still useful and she did recommend a few things to help; mainly in terms of building a network. One thing that I find really hard is not having others in the same situation to talk to and a support network really helps. I downloaded the app Mush (which helps you find moms and pregnant ladies in your area) and booked a private antenatal class. If you happen to be local to me, I used http://www.birthability.co.uk/ and they were amazing. Just knowing I had the routine of going to a class each week and there were experts there I could ask questions to and other moms-to-be to chat to actually really helped and gave me something to focus on and enjoy.

I continued with my acupuncture (again, mainly to just know I had a place to destress and chat with someone each month) and also downloaded The Positive Birth Company digital pack, which lots of people recommended. I didn’t think hypnobirthing applied to me since I am having a C-Section but it is actually still useful! There’s some calming MP3s to download and listen to with some simple mantras as well as some science-based videos to watch. They went through the C-Section process and how it can be a calm an positive birth which is lovely, but to be honest, I didn’t have many anxieties about the birth itself (my brain prefers to focus on far-reaching, hypothetical situations instead!) but if you are having a natural birth and worrying, this would be invaluable.

I asked online and was recommended the Nourish App and Clementine App-which aren’t specifically aimed for pregnancy, are centred around mental health and women so they might also be worth a try. Clementine has focused meditations around things like confidence, workplace stress and even a power nap option (much needed at the mo!) whilst Nourish is aimed at moms and has a resource bank of articles, nutrition tips, gratitude, yoga, mindfulness and visualisations.

I am in no way saying I am 100% calm but I do feel better in building a support network and trying different apps for relaxation. I’ll definitely still keep my NHS appointment when it does arrive as I know that motherhood will still be a massive learning curve too!

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