Right, you lovely lot- today I am about to confess something. I am sitting here writting this on a Sunday night, curled up with a cosy blanket and a cup of chamomile. So far, so Instagram worthy. #relaxation #hygge However, this week has been a bit of a manic one and got me thinking that in many ways– I completely fail as a health and nutrition blogger. Sometimes I just eat the wrong food, don’t move off the sofa and don’t feel very zen at all. I hope you’ll forgive me as I share ten ways in which I am actually, am a complete fail at nutrition and health blogging…
1.I eat avocado but I don’t get it.
For so long, I did not eat avocado at all. Its texture made me feel sick and it did not appeal to me. However, I realised I was lacking in variety of breakfast choices and decided as a good source of fats and protein (and with eggs being out as I can’t eat them); I needed to add it. So I added mini avocados to smoked salmon or whizzed it up in a smoothie and came to a groundbreaking realisation: avocado is…okay.Who are these people declaring avocados are a delicious treat? I don’t get it! It just tastes mildly sour and has a weird texture- so I just eat it quickly and reward myself for being virtuous….
2. I eat shit when I am on my period. And no not ‘ooh I treat myself to a cacao bar; naughty me’- that stuff doesn’t even touch the sides when I am on my period. I crave sweet stuff like there’s no tomorrow. Now, I know that this all to do with my blood sugar levels, that I should supplement chromium and eat healthy fats. But last week, I chucked that idea out the window and bought a bag on Rowntrees Squashies. Now, let me tell you, squashies are full of bloody rubbish- and as a Nutritional Therapist, I know that, but I ate them anyway. In my defence, I did then make sure I got back on the bone broth and ate healthy the next day- but yeah, there you go. Are you still with me or are you unfollowing as we speak?
3. I can’t be doing with making everything from scratch. Why do we give people so much hassle for buying stuff premade? I’m not talking turkey twizzlers and weightwatchers meals here: I am talking things like hummus and sauerkraut. I am not a natural baker or cook. I know I could ferment my own cabbage but I can’t be arsed. I know I could make my own energy balls but by the time I’ve spent fifty quid on medjool dates, cacao, chai seeds and co; I can no longer be bothered. Don’t get me wrong, I love bloggers who share their tips and recipes on this- I hope to be one of these bloggers one day and I do want to learn. But if we’re busy, there’s nothing wrong with buying your own raw sauerkraut or hummus- better than not having it all, right?
4. Sometimes I don’t feel very zen. I have meditation apps, I listen to ted talks, I have a lavender spray and I genuinely love yoga; but sometimes by brain is still crazy anxious and the only thing that works is a) talking to my mom for half hour while she repeats to me that I’m not crazy/I won’t end up unemployed/my husband isn’t having an affair/that bite on my arm isn’t skin cancer in disguise- whatever my crazy brain is worrying about today b) reading a trashy romance book with a glass of wine c) going to bed in which case I wake up the next day and I literally can’t remember why I was worried . God bless my mom. And the book aisle at 24 hour Tesco.
5. I don’t have many healthy friends- I mean in the clean eating sense. I have no tribe or no group of clean eaters. In fact, most of my friends and family find my clean eating escapades hilarious. I don’t mind that they take the mick, it stops me taking myself too seriously.
6. Hygge has completely passed me by. I am too late to get on to this trend, right? Well, in my mind, no I am not. I was at an interview a few weeks ago and I decided to make an on-point reference to hygge to show I was well-versed in all things current. However, when she said it back to me- I realised the way you say hygge is not the way it is written at all; thus making a complete idiot of myself.
7. I bought a four-pound workout top from B&N Bargains the other day. I don’t think I really need to expand on that really do I? P.S B&N Bargains do workout clothes!
8. I buy health magazines but just to look at the pictures; I never actually make any of the recipes or do any of the workouts.
9. I am not remotely competitive. I like to do yoga, walk with my dogs or even run occasionally. If I am timing myself in the gym, it’s usually so I know how long it is until I can lie down on my sofa and read a magazine; not beat a personal best. Much to the disgust to my family, I am known to say things like ‘I’d be really happy with 9th to be fair’ or ‘to be honest, if that team has never won before, wouldn’t it be nice to give them a chance?’ when watching competitive sport.
10. I don’t eat salad. Ever. I can’t actually eat salad because I find it too raw to digest for my IBD; I get around it by eating plenty of well-cooked veggies (more on this here) or juicing- but yeah, It is quite awkward when I go to health events or health food shops and say ‘ can I have that without salad’ please.
Right, if you are still with me- hopefully you’ll realise this post is a bit tongue in cheek. If you follow my blog, you’ll know I am hugely passionate about health and nutrition; but I am also, quite evidently, not perfect. I’d love to hear your health imperfections too…